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[irritated]

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Hikaru Hitachiin ⬤ Ouran High School Host Club
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text; backdated to zuko's slumber party with Gokudera

[rediscovering]

theres a pitcher in the kitchen
you and kaoru shouldn't drink from it.
but maybe tamaki should

[irritated]

and why is that?

[rediscovering]

gokudera and i did a sort of science experiment with the teas.......
i don't know if it failed or succeeded but it uh... happened....

1/2

[irritated]

what kind of experiment?? is this the kind of thing that makes our fridge explode or something?

and suggesting tono drink it...

[irritated]

[almost immediately afterwards, he sends:]

that last part was a joke. i know you don't want to hurt him.

[Zuko tends to never know what a joke is and isn't.]

[rediscovering]

no i kind of do this time... :)
it doesn't explode but it probably isn't safe to consume?? i don't know how to make a grossed out face >:(
but if it's poison, he had it coming

[irritated]

he finally got to you i see. what did it for you?

~(>_<~) and here use this. it's simple enough for a grossed-out face.

[rediscovering]

i invited gokudera over to stay the night and told him about the teas in the fridge... he wanted to see it for himself...
then he suggested we mix them all together in equal parts to see what it'd taste like
...so we did.
~(>_<~)!!!

[irritated]

why??? of course it would be a bad idea! it would taste like crap because they're all crap.

[rediscovering]

it was gokudera's idea!!! not mine! but it tasted so bad hikaru holy shit i thought i knew how bad it'd be but i was wrong, it was worse
it had texture like a syrup
ive never had a drink with texture before!!?

[irritated]

and this is in our apartment?

[rediscovering]

yes in a pitcher
we mixed one shot of each flavor except for the special edition flavors in the freezer

and i poured what we didn't use out, so theres that?? one plus that came out of it, got to waste a few cans out of spite

[irritated]

but he'll somehow replace them. do you know how many i've thrown out? taichi took HALF but there's always more.

what if they're just breeding?

[rediscovering]

maybe. probably. it's not real. theres definitely not a trace of tea in any of them
he has an addiction, its unhealthy

gokudera said to tell him (as a joke, it's a lie) that back home he used to be so poor that he couldnt afford an apartment with a fridge, so he combined all his beverages into one to make it more cost-effective. called it poor man's punch.
maybe if we convince him this is how real commoners do it, he'll break

[irritated]

he doesn't even like them. trust me. he's an idiot but he's got the same tastes as us. he knows these are bad, he knows how fake they are, but he's stupidly fascinated with them. it's an addiction but it's like an addiction to collecting things. it's like his stupid doritos.

OK but that's hilarious and he would buy it. i guarantee you. like it would explain why the arizona fruit punch tastes like it does.

[rediscovering]

no i know. i know. the first night i met tamaki and i gave him my bad green tea

which i regret now by the way

he told me commoner teas taste like perseverance and hope......

what the hell do you say to something like that?!? hahaha
you can try and sell him on the poor man’s punch, work your charm... :)


the doritos aren’t the worst, the spicy ones are kinda like fireflakes from my world. but he goes overboard. at least he’s thorough...? passionate? gives his all at what he does?

just so happens to be... this.

[irritated]

usually i say just go along with whatever tono says and wants because it's hilarious but this time? yeah. you better regret it because now we can't put actual food in the fridge. i don't even get it because his interests always change? he's been stuck on the commoner thing but even that kind of changes. one day it's foods and then the next it's futons. it changes. this arizona thing is crazy.

and annoying.

anyway you're being too nice. he's just an idiot.

[And Hikaru loves him a lot, would do absolutely anything for him, but he's an idiot and annoying.]

[rediscovering]

it doesn’t normally last thing long? so it is crazy. what if this is how he’s coping with the shock of being here....?? is this how he comforts himself....?? i started buying fancy tea leaves cuz it made me feel tied to uncle’s tea at home. something like that. except crazy.

[irritated]

psychoanalyzing tono doesn't work. he betrays any kind of logic. like if we're going with logic then wouldn't things from home remind him of home? like eating actual good food.

unless it reminds him of our friend...

but even she wouldn't drink this stuff, i think.

[rediscovering]

right, the commoner girl in your club... maybe that’s it. are there teas like this at home for you? maybe he wishes he could share them with her?
i dont know im grasping at straws

should we be worried?? as in like, is he okay.....?
i don’t know much about this stuff but i met a doctor who said he fixes mental disorders maybe that’s what this is. it’s something.

[irritated]

okay seriously. please tell tono he should see a doctor for his mental health. i want to be there when you tell him.

but you know, maybe he does want to share them with her. i bet you he has some weird fantasy about it going on in his head.

[rediscovering]

do you think it will help....? or do you just think it will be funny??

why does he have these weird fantasies about this girl?? kaoru told me that too. just cuz she’s poor?? that’s like exotic to him or something?

[irritated]

tono is one of my dearest friends! his well-being is of the utmost importance to me. (´,,•ω•,,)♡

yeah that's basically it. she is really cute but tono is also just a big pervert. it's very sad. maybe this is something we should consider going to the doctor about that too?

[rediscovering]

wait i thought he was gay?? he likes this girl tho???

[irritated]

[WHAT DID KAORU TELL HIM????? This may be the best gift that Hikaru could have received. He's laughing hysterically as he texts this over:]

tono just loves everybody