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[irritated]

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Hikaru Hitachiin ⬤ Ouran High School Host Club
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moonblessing ⬤ Sanguis

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can't believe zuko thinks they're whores.

[irritated]

we entertain bored young women with a lot of time on their hands with lively discussion.

we go to a prestigious private school. you really think they'd allow that kind of debauchery?

it’s not too far a stretch of the imagination, lbr

[rediscovering]

look i dunno your world sounds crazy to me sometimes too ok how should i know what you guys do!

whys it only girls come...?? do they all come just cuz you guys all happen to be good-looking? or is that part of it too...?

[irritated]

because you know us and you should think better of us!

zuko, is it really that hard to understand why bored girls wouldn't want to spend their countless free hours talking to handsome young men?

[rediscovering]

yes it is that hard to understand explain it to me
you just talk to them and act out skits or something and they like to watch just cuz you’re cute.....? i dont get it

i dont think badly of any of you, live your lives
i just dont know about this part of your lives though, why should i

[irritated]

listen, i think you could say this to anybody else and you'd have a point.
but not to me. especially not to me.
do i need to remind you of the bubble? if i can know about your life story then you can know about my host club.

[rediscovering]

i meant I don’t know about like.... your romantic life... you understand what im saying??

all i know about the host club is what you guys have told me and i don’t think i understand it...? but I want to!? theres just nothing like this in my world as far as i know. and it sounds... strange. to me.
girls just come to fawn over you cuz they’re bored and you’re cute but you don’t date them or “do” anything cuz it’s a school club.... but what do you do then?? you put on plays or something?

[irritated]

it's better you don't know about my romantic life. [It's bad for business if there's an answer!]

i told you. we talk to them and sometimes we eat together. kaoru and i put on shows though.
but of course bored young women want to spend time with handsome guys. it's so obvious.

[rediscovering]

[ There are so many crossed wires and gaps to be filled in this household. “Better you don’t know” sounds sketchy as fuck, which does nothing to dissuade Zuko’s line of thinking that he’s living with a bunch of teenage sexual deviants. He’s really having trouble grasping the concept of their club. It seems... romantic, as he’d put it, at the bottom line. Girls with nothing better to do than lust after cute men for entertainment. He can’t fathom. It’s even more illogical hearing they don’t “do” anything by that premise... which is why Hikaru’s answer seems so suspicious. But what’s he gonna say? He’s not comfortable talking in this sphere, even being on a planet revolving around these things. ]

not obvious to me. isn’t that kind of creepy....? if it were a bunch of guys coming to flirt with cute girls for fun wouldn’t that be weird??

what kind of shows do you and kaoru do...?

1/2

[irritated]

that's called a hostess club.

what do you think we do? strip? that was one time.

[irritated]

just kidding.

we only took our shirts off.

[rediscovering]

what?!?!.....?!
where does that come into eating and chatting, even one time?!!

[irritated]

this wasn't for the club! this was for club business but we didn't do it for the girls.

we have costumes without shirts anyway.

[rediscovering]

what does that mean?! “Business?!” Who did you do it for if not your guests.....???

you understand the more you explain the less it makes sense right

[irritated]

it was for the doctor's exams at school. we were protecting haruhi's identity. it was for a good cause.

at least we didn't dress up as haruhi like tono.

[rediscovering]

Should I even bother asking “what” anymore
Just explain.......

[irritated]

it's simple.
nobody could know haruhi was a girl so kaoru and i were a distraction by taking our shirts off. the girls paid attention to us so we could sneak haruhi to a different place.

get it?

and we tricked tono into thinking he should pretend to be haruhi so people would think he was haruhi instead. that was hilarious.

[rediscovering]

you know
that still makes no sense
but made a lot else make sense

Haruhi is the girl tamaki likes and the only girl in your club, but i didnt know she was undercover as a boy. that makes the story kaoru told me about dressing up as girls in the cake dresses for her to have more girl friends make... well i can’t say it makes more sense but fills in gaps

so does Haruhi... like girls then? does she want to be a boy instead of a girl......? that’s why she is in your club?
i don’t know anyone like that except tamaki.. if they look so much alike that he can pass as her though then i guess i could see how?

[irritated]

cake dresses? you mean our tiered ballgowns? yeah we did that. it was tono's idea.

haruhi just doesn't care about being a boy or a girl. i don't even know if she likes anybody? she did kiss a girl and she didn't care but that was an accident. it made the party more interesting though.

also her and tono look NOTHING alike. i told you. tono is an idiot. he fell for it.

[But the more he thinks about Haruhi, talks about her, the more he misses her. She means the world to him and he used to see her every day. Spend all day with her and Kaoru. Now he hasn't seen her in months.]

[rediscovering]

yeah. the first day we met kaoru told me some crazy story about tamaki manipulating Haruhi dishonestly by some stupid play you did dressed as girls cuz he thought she was gonna transfer to an all girls school but didn’t just talk to her about it. he could have just asked. it made no sense. sounds like a lot doesnt with him.... i mean i already knew that but it runs deeper than i thought the more i hear about your club......

why would her kissing a girl make a party more interesting? people were watching? another distraction like when you took your shirts off...? so weird

[ He's starting to have questions about Haruhi’s character too by this point for putting up with all this... but on the other hand, he’s surprised in himself for putting up with their antics, too. They’re so eccentric it’s endearing and exciting as much as it is baffling and irritating at times. He can’t judge her. He chooses to live with them. ]

[irritated]

tono is way more of a "act first think later" kind of guy.

it wasn't expected! that's why. haven't you ever gone to something boring and then it turned out to be interesting? it was that kind of thing!

[rediscovering]

i can relate to that...... you know.

no. i haven’t.
but i still don’t understand how a girl kissing a girl is interesting enough to attract an audience....? Why is that interesting?? shes really popular like tamaki or something?

[irritated]

zuko

think of the two cutest girls you can think of.
now imagine them kissing. like really kissing.
you still gonna ask me that?

[rediscovering]

yes!
wouldnt i wanna fantasize about them kissing me..? that makes no sense, its weird. ive never seen girls kiss anyway. That’s technically illegal.

this is what you guys daydream about....? or your guests do....?? i don’t get it.

1/2

[irritated]

illegal? that explains a lot

but this doesn't even have anything to do with our club anymore because it isn't about that. like that isn't the point entirely. even the kiss haruhi had was super tame. it was just funny because tono lost it.

but come on. this is about you as a guy. did you even actually think of two cute girls kissing?

2/2

[irritated]

should i send you pictures?

[Now he's just being a jerk to embarrass him.]