When you and Taichi began your relationship... did... either of you declare courtship with one another? Is... is that something that is still done by chance?
I mean. Courting isn't exactly how you do it anymore where we come from. It's sort of the same, though. We were into each other, said we liked each other, and I asked him out so we could start dating. [It was not that simple but Hikaru's not going to get into it. She doesn't need to hear that and he is not in the mood to explain what a flash mob is.] Guess that's sort of similar to "courting".
But you do generally state it's happening or say you'd like it to happen. Why? [He knows why but he's not sure how much he's supposed to know from all three sides.]
Oh... [Does she sound disheartened? Because she is. So they DO still state intent for courtship, even if it isn't exactly called that. It is now called "dating" it seems. But it sounds much the same and still, neither boy has asked it of her.]
I... well, I thought... I was being obvious about my intent and what I desired without... without being inappropriate or considered crass. But... for all my... for all my actions...
[Gokudera had turned her down and Zuko was oblivious.]
[Hikaru is not good with emotions, mostly the emotions of others. The problem being is that he is so emotional himself but for a long time, it was easier to just not care about others. That was how you protected yourself and that was what he and Kaoru had done. Empathy is still a work in progress but he's not completely heartless. Especially since making friends and coming to a different world, meeting people like Zuko and Taichi...well. He curses himself because he is in way over his head and he doesn't want to mess this up.
But he can hear how sad Aurora is, hear Tamaki practically yelling at him about how girls should never be sad, and then Kaoru's voice telling him that he has to do something.]
Listen, I won't tell anybody what you tell me now. I won't even judge you or anything, okay? I won't think you're inappropriate, crass, or some other shit. [Hikaru, language.
But he's always got a potty mouth on him when he isn't being careful.] So...want to tell me what's going on? You sound like you need to talk.
I... well, confiding in someone would be eagerly welcomed, truly. [She let out a breath.]
I have been... trying and... it seems properly failing to let Zuko know my interest in him that is, romantically. I had hoped he would want to initiate courtship. But every time I have tried, he's practically recoiled in response in some fashion or other. I don't think he likes me in such a manner. [HO BOY HOW WRONG SHE IS.]
I also developed feelings for Gokudera, when we went out to celebrate his collar being off, it... well he picked up on my interest and intent quickly... immediately, in fact. But he has no interest in me romantically. [Also wrong.] He prefers the company of men, though he has expressed how deeply he cares for me. He even said that we could be a couple, though a couple of what I do not know, that had been left unsaid. [Oh... oh no.] But the thing is, clear as a bell, Gokudera pronounced that he wished to court Zuko.
I think, if Zuko knew, he'd reciprocate, in truth.
I wish to help with Gokudera's courtship, I am willing to accept neither wish to be with me. [Still... still so very wrong.] Both boys deserve happiness when it comes to matters of the heart.
While... While I am more than willing to step aside for their happiness, should that come, I admit that my own heart is- [She let out a sigh.] I am trying to be joyous for them, and am failing quite miserably and I feel dreadful for my envious nature.
[It's a good thing this is voice only because Hikaru is facepalming. He'd been trying to get Zuko to get a move on with things with Aurora but to no avail. Part of him wishes he could tell Aurora that Zuko is most definitely into her and has been for a while. But well, that's not his place and he won't do that to Zuko.]
First of all, as someone who's known Zuko in two different worlds now? He's not so good at subtle hints. Or any hints. Seriously, he won't catch on. Sometimes I have to say I'm joking in case he takes me seriously. And honestly? This was probably more of a him issue than a you issue. Does that make sense?
[He's truly trying to protect Zuko's privacy here and it's very hard not to tell her everything that he does know. Out of everybody so far, he's truly the most sympathetic to Aurora. Zuko is his bro but he did not do Aurora any favors here.]
And when someone says you can be a "couple", it means two people dating. So if Gokudera has no interest in you then why he was saying that to you? That makes no sense, don't you think? [Hikaru is just feeling more and more sorry for her.]
It isn't wrong to feel jealous. You like both of them, right? And you tried to let them know that but it didn't seem to work out for you. But that isn't on you. I don't think this is a you problem but a them problem. You shouldn't be feeling bad because they're the ones trying to figure things out. And I know that you want to help make them happy but what about you? What would make you happy?
[Aurora's been crying is why this is in voice, not video. She didn't want anyone to see her in such a state.]
Oh... [She sounds so embarrassed about how much she hadn't realized just how much ZUKO needed much more open conversation.] I... see... I shall... [She takes a deep breath.] Honestly, Hikaru, I am not sure what to do. I'd like to be forthright about my feelings for him, but he's been so reticent in so many ways. I know more about his uncle than I do about him! [And she is glad that he shared things that were important to him, but she'd actually like to learn about HIM every now and then.]
Oh. [Wait wasn't dating-] OH! [Her eyes widen.] I- that does... pose quite a good question. I am not sure. I had thought, perhaps, he meant more... a Lady and her Knight. But if he wishes to... ah- date, was it? I am not sure, he made it clear where his preference lied and I did not wish to insist upon the matter. But if being a couple is dating, then I do not really understand what it is he desires of me?
I do. I had... started to allow myself to think what it might be like to be with someone I actually knew and enjoyed being with, rather than my betrothed. And when I pictured such a thing, they would be the ones it was all with. A daydream, certainly, but a pleasant one all the same.
I'm not sure, admittedly. [She'd... like to be kissed, if even just once.] I am happy in their company, I was happy as their friend, and I didn't dare consider anything further than that, not until very recently.
If I were allowed to indulge my flights of fancy, I would want the three of us in a romantic courtship, just as my three aunts were, happy and loving and supporting one another. But that is a daydream, and I should wake up.
The only reason I know so much about Zuko is because of the ocean bubble. [This probably sounds very weird and Hikaru is quick to explain.] We got trapped in a bubble in the ocean. In the bubble we ended up hearing all of our worst memories played for us. Zuko didn't tell me anything willingly. I would probably be clueless about a lot too if it weren't for that. Zuko is just...shy? He's working through a lot so I guess he needs patience. [He thinks? Hikaru really wishes he had Tamaki right now. Guy is an idiot but he has always been good at crap like this. Hikaru's out of his league right now.
He is not even sure where to touch all three of them dating. Hikaru's not against the three people idea even if he's never heard of it before and he's not sure how it would work but this isn't what this is about. Aurora can't see how he puts a hand through his hair and frowns deeply. What does he tell her? ]
I...don't think it's a daydream. I think you just chose two guys who need to figure stuff out and if they were smart then they'd date you. Or uh, court you. Give them time and see what happens but I don't think you were being dumb. You don't sound dumb at all right now. [He wishes he could tell her she is being the only sane one right now. She should hear it.]
I see, I shall try and be even more patient. then. [But she's only human. She doesn't want to rush Zuko, but sometimes it feels like she'll be an old maid first before even a gleam of attraction comes from Zuko regarding her.]
Thank you, Hikaru, I suppose I just wanted reassurance. I've never been in any situation like this before. I feel like I'm constantly misstepping and upsetting those I'd never want to hurt. I will give them their time and space. I know what is like to feel rushed regarding matters of the heart.
I would say I feel lost in the woods, but I know the woods. [She sighed.] I... I have absolutely no knowledge of how any sort of romantic relationship works. The only man I ever deeply liked, loved, perhaps even, I immediately could no longer see because I found out I was betrothed and could never see him again.
So, I truly appreciate your help, Hikaru. Thank you for being such a good friend.
Well, I can't really say I'm an expert on romance either. Taichi's been my first...everything. [But it means a lot to Hikaru that he's been a good friend and that someone sees that. Even if Hikaru doesn't feel like he's been useful at all. Not when all he can think about is how Kaoru or Tamaki would have handled this better.
But all he can offer is:] Talk to me if you have any other problems. Or if you want to. I just wouldn't mind, I guess.
Perhaps so, but the way you both adore one another is quite clear.
I will most certainly call upon you again, hopefully with much better news. I hope my patience is rewarded. Thank you for being such a good friend, Hikaru. I felt quite lost on all this.
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No, I'm good to talk to you. What's up?
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But you do generally state it's happening or say you'd like it to happen. Why? [He knows why but he's not sure how much he's supposed to know from all three sides.]
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I... well, I thought... I was being obvious about my intent and what I desired without... without being inappropriate or considered crass. But... for all my... for all my actions...
[Gokudera had turned her down and Zuko was oblivious.]
In any case, thank you. I hope you are well?
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But he can hear how sad Aurora is, hear Tamaki practically yelling at him about how girls should never be sad, and then Kaoru's voice telling him that he has to do something.]
Listen, I won't tell anybody what you tell me now. I won't even judge you or anything, okay? I won't think you're inappropriate, crass, or some other shit. [Hikaru, language.
But he's always got a potty mouth on him when he isn't being careful.] So...want to tell me what's going on? You sound like you need to talk.
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I have been... trying and... it seems properly failing to let Zuko know my interest in him that is, romantically. I had hoped he would want to initiate courtship. But every time I have tried, he's practically recoiled in response in some fashion or other. I don't think he likes me in such a manner. [HO BOY HOW WRONG SHE IS.]
I also developed feelings for Gokudera, when we went out to celebrate his collar being off, it... well he picked up on my interest and intent quickly... immediately, in fact. But he has no interest in me romantically. [Also wrong.] He prefers the company of men, though he has expressed how deeply he cares for me. He even said that we could be a couple, though a couple of what I do not know, that had been left unsaid. [Oh... oh no.] But the thing is, clear as a bell, Gokudera pronounced that he wished to court Zuko.
I think, if Zuko knew, he'd reciprocate, in truth.
I wish to help with Gokudera's courtship, I am willing to accept neither wish to be with me. [Still... still so very wrong.] Both boys deserve happiness when it comes to matters of the heart.
While... While I am more than willing to step aside for their happiness, should that come, I admit that my own heart is- [She let out a sigh.] I am trying to be joyous for them, and am failing quite miserably and I feel dreadful for my envious nature.
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First of all, as someone who's known Zuko in two different worlds now? He's not so good at subtle hints. Or any hints. Seriously, he won't catch on. Sometimes I have to say I'm joking in case he takes me seriously. And honestly? This was probably more of a him issue than a you issue. Does that make sense?
[He's truly trying to protect Zuko's privacy here and it's very hard not to tell her everything that he does know. Out of everybody so far, he's truly the most sympathetic to Aurora. Zuko is his bro but he did not do Aurora any favors here.]
And when someone says you can be a "couple", it means two people dating. So if Gokudera has no interest in you then why he was saying that to you? That makes no sense, don't you think? [Hikaru is just feeling more and more sorry for her.]
It isn't wrong to feel jealous. You like both of them, right? And you tried to let them know that but it didn't seem to work out for you. But that isn't on you. I don't think this is a you problem but a them problem. You shouldn't be feeling bad because they're the ones trying to figure things out. And I know that you want to help make them happy but what about you? What would make you happy?
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Oh... [She sounds so embarrassed about how much she hadn't realized just how much ZUKO needed much more open conversation.] I... see... I shall... [She takes a deep breath.] Honestly, Hikaru, I am not sure what to do. I'd like to be forthright about my feelings for him, but he's been so reticent in so many ways. I know more about his uncle than I do about him! [And she is glad that he shared things that were important to him, but she'd actually like to learn about HIM every now and then.]
Oh. [Wait wasn't dating-] OH! [Her eyes widen.] I- that does... pose quite a good question. I am not sure. I had thought, perhaps, he meant more... a Lady and her Knight. But if he wishes to... ah- date, was it? I am not sure, he made it clear where his preference lied and I did not wish to insist upon the matter. But if being a couple is dating, then I do not really understand what it is he desires of me?
I do. I had... started to allow myself to think what it might be like to be with someone I actually knew and enjoyed being with, rather than my betrothed. And when I pictured such a thing, they would be the ones it was all with. A daydream, certainly, but a pleasant one all the same.
I'm not sure, admittedly. [She'd... like to be kissed, if even just once.] I am happy in their company, I was happy as their friend, and I didn't dare consider anything further than that, not until very recently.
If I were allowed to indulge my flights of fancy, I would want the three of us in a romantic courtship, just as my three aunts were, happy and loving and supporting one another. But that is a daydream, and I should wake up.
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He is not even sure where to touch all three of them dating. Hikaru's not against the three people idea even if he's never heard of it before and he's not sure how it would work but this isn't what this is about. Aurora can't see how he puts a hand through his hair and frowns deeply. What does he tell her? ]
I...don't think it's a daydream. I think you just chose two guys who need to figure stuff out and if they were smart then they'd date you. Or uh, court you. Give them time and see what happens but I don't think you were being dumb. You don't sound dumb at all right now. [He wishes he could tell her she is being the only sane one right now. She should hear it.]
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Thank you, Hikaru, I suppose I just wanted reassurance. I've never been in any situation like this before. I feel like I'm constantly misstepping and upsetting those I'd never want to hurt. I will give them their time and space. I know what is like to feel rushed regarding matters of the heart.
[It sucks. It majorly sucks.]
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You have to look out for yourself, too. Don't put your own things on hold if you're waiting too long.
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[Hikaru would have been demanding answers yesterday.]
If you need anything else then let me know, okay? Things like this can be frustrating so I get it.
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So, I truly appreciate your help, Hikaru. Thank you for being such a good friend.
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But all he can offer is:] Talk to me if you have any other problems. Or if you want to. I just wouldn't mind, I guess.
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I will most certainly call upon you again, hopefully with much better news. I hope my patience is rewarded. Thank you for being such a good friend, Hikaru. I felt quite lost on all this.