[It's much funnier to say that Zuko has gone bald and at least Zuko can take the teasing. More than a year ago now, they almost got into a physical fight but Lunatia had really done wonders for them. All thanks to one ocean and so that is why Hikaru listens to that question and feels some type of way. Him asking this so openly makes Hikaru's heart wrench and not entirely in sadness. But that he worries about it and really, it's a normal thing for a teenager. Hikaru knows that much.
For Zuko it just feels differently.]
Yeah. You do. [Sincerely he says this and means it, no jokes in that one simple sentence. He wouldn't lie or make fun of him like this.]
Seriously, don't change a thing. Or I don't know, worry about it. Aurora is gonna love the hair. You totally beat out the bears she hung out with.
[ There's barely the ghost of a smile on his lips at the confirmation, but his face falls slightly being told his good looks will outshine, um... a bear. He rolls his eyes, letting a smirk show itself more openly with a light little "tch" of a laugh, as he runs his hands down the sides again. ]
Gee, I'd hope so... I'd like to think I'm better looking than a—
[ His head snaps back to shoot Hikaru another look suddenly, brows knitting slightly as a thought comes to mind. For once, he's actually beat Hikaru to the punch teasing himself by accident by reading into shit that's not even there. Look at the leaps and bounds of progress(?) Hikaru's made on poor Zuko's humor. Doesn't mean he's good at being funny or anything yet, but. He can. Sort of take a joke. More than before, at least... ]
Wait! Was that a crack about the bear thing!? In Lunatia! You didn't tell her about that, did you—?!
[ sjfjksdjk if anyone would be okay with knowing you turned into a baby bear for a weekend, Zuko, it'd be Aurora, calm down... ]
Honestly? Don't think she would care if she knew you did but I didn't. I'm trying to hook you up, not sabotage it here.
[Hikaru is using his powers for good.]
But I think that'd be pretty hard. She doesn't seem like she'd be too bothered about much when it comes to you~
[Okay so Aurora hasn't said anything quite like that but Hikaru is going to fill Zuko with as much confidence as he can. Sometimes that's all you need to just go and do something. Zuko needs to be confident and make the first move. Hikaru is sure that it'll work out.]
[ His expression softens a bit at that, and he glances to the side shyly. It's weird to acknowledge this crush, to call it what it is, talking with his friends about acting on it... "I'm trying to hook you up, not sabotage it here." Hikaru'd been the first to put this idea out there, from the very first time he'd mentioned Aurora right after he'd first met her. She's so different from the other people he's fancied, and that makes him nervous. He hasn't told her much about how dark his life has been. She hasn't told him much about hers, either. They just talk in the here and now, light conversations, and that's what he likes so much in part. How easy it is to not think about that stuff with her.
And he's always liked that about Hikaru, too. Hanging out with Hikaru makes him feel like a normal teenager somehow, even though he knows everything... Maybe because they got it all completely out in the open almost right off the bat, it's been a weight lifted that most of it doesn't need to come up again; there are very few surprises left in Zuko's stories that might come up in conversation, unlike with most people. Hikaru'd be more surprised by normal stories about how he'd done mundane, happy, teenage things, more than likely... The edge of a smile traces his lips as he looks back to his friend, leaning against the sink counter a little. ]
...We have a lot of plans of stuff we wanna do together. She wants to teach me how to cook. [ He lets out a little puff of a breath, which totally counts as a laugh for Zuko. ] I hope I don't sabotage myself... We're gonna cook outside. I told her I might burn her house down.
[ Man, that joke can only land so well with Hikaru. Aurora didn't think Zuko was being as literal as he really was, more than likely... ]
[Hikaru hears that and laughs, absolutely understanding the joke.] So she doesn't know about how you burned our apartment down? Or when we burned the tent down? Hah. Good luck but she probably knows what she's doing. No arson for you.
[He's rooting for you, Zuko.]
You know, though, there's some ways to make this really work. This could be romantic. [He's really trying to help here.] Brush your hand against hers here and there when you're doing stuff. See how she reacts.
...She already touches me all the time... Something like that won't matter.
[ His eyes dart to the side as he admits that, a faint trace of color rising to his face. ]
She, uh— touches my hands sometimes, and calls me by name a lot.
[ Why "calls me by name a lot" registers as something particularly romantic, who can say, but more than anyone else, she addresses him directly, peppering "Zuko" into their conversations like a spice, and every time she says his name, it makes him catch his breath, and he doesn't know why. No one else addresses him so directly over and over except, like... servants. But that's completely different. He can't explain why he thinks it means she likes him, but ever since their very first meeting when he first gave her his name, it's been the case, and it's confused him. ]
Are you serious right now? She touches you all the time, says your name a lot, and seems to want to hang out? Zuko, she's into you. She's really into you.
[He knows subtle things go over his friend's head so it's good he's here to help Zuko out because damn.]
Okay I get you don't want to talk about it but don't you think that talking about it might help? It doesn't have to be right now or anything but. It could help? Aurora can't just wait forever.
[Hikaru would like to talk about this but it says a lot that Zuko isn't opening up. It kind of makes Hikaru all the more curious because what doesn't he know about Zuko?
Whatever this is apparently.
But it says a lot for their friendship that Hikaru isn't pestering him. Only sighing.]
You know how to make me curious. Damn. But fine. I'll keep trying to butter Aurora up for you. Keep throwing good things about you her way.
[ His face softens, looking at Hikaru with some indiscernible emotion; moved by his loyalty, respect for Zuko's privacy, encouragement for his happiness... and a vague longing like he wishes he could talk about whatever this mystery is, but is clearly biting his tongue as he decides against it again. He sighs once more and collapses backwards into the couch, splaying his arms out over the back as he looks up at the ceiling. ]
Once, just once— I want something in my life to be simple. Straightforward.
[ Drama queen... He knows full well he does it to himself, is the worst part. ]
[Hikaru sighs and wonders what to say for a brief moment. He cares about Zuko, wanting to see him be happy. It seems like not only is it hard for Zuko to make things simple, it's hard for the other teen to be happy.]
I think you would be. But well, if she likes you too then it's up to her, right? I mean, sometimes I don't think I'm good for Taichi. [Which is a very vulnerable thing for Hikaru to admit.]
But if she likes you then she does and that's that. You just have to try to do right by her because she thinks you're good for her. That's what matters.
[ His words hit a good mark, and Zuko nods in return, processing and digesting. He is surprised by the atypical vulnerability at that admission though and... it bears questioning, if they're talking about his love life, too... And, what's more, it's a good distraction away from it. ]
...Why don't you feel like you're good for Taichi? You guys seem so solid.
Edited 2022-01-01 18:59 (UTC)
seriously they have such similar icons sometimes lol
[Hikaru, very often, is not interested in discussing his own weaknesses. But it feels okay doing so with Zuko, even more than it does with Taichi. Which isn't a slight against Taichi when it only has to do with the fact that he knows Taichi relies so much on Hikaru's confidence. And Zuko, well, it's easy to be vulnerable with a boy who already saw him at his weakest moments.]
I just...I hurt people without really meaning to. I've done it to Taichi. I made him believe in the beginning I didn't think I could actually like him or how I walked away when he asked me out. Or when I yelled at him for inviting a friend to spend the night at his place. I never told you about that but it was our first fight. [Hikaru shrugs.] It just always feels like I'm one step away from really hurting him again, I guess.
[ Zuko listens, keeping his ruminative pose, but nods along at the last remark. ]
Mmn. I understand. I felt that way with Mai in the end. But... the people who really love you, will forgive you, I think. That's what I've learned. Hurting people without meaning to.
But that's the thing, right? They shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to keep hurting Taichi and him forgiving me. You heard Tono and Haruhi in the bubble, I'm selfish. I just don't really think about others. [And also, he can't see that he is very often thinking about others and trying his best.]
I don't want Taichi to have to forgive me or feel like he does because he thinks I'm the best he's going to get. [And if you ask Hikaru, Taichi could do better.]
So do better. Think about him more. I had the same realization with Azula— after Aang got here... We had a huge fight. And— I realized I don't think about her side of things enough... So— I wanna do better. I'm trying to treat her better. I just— get mad, though...
[ He sighs a little at that. He knows what Hikaru's talking about. He knows it's hard. Mai had to forgive a lot in Zuko in hindsight... and Zuko and Azula have forgiven each other for a lot more. But it's still tense. And growing tenser. ]
I feel like a jerk with Azula sometimes. I know I was with Mai sometimes, too. I wanna be better than this.
[ It's a very honest and transparent admission, though another one of these moments when somehow Azula keeps sneaking her way into conversations about romance and intimacy and all this realm. It makes sense, she's a woman, she's his sister, someone important in his life, they live together, they've got problems... But it's almost becoming a pattern, how she comes up like this. Especially when held against Mai. ]
[Why does Azula always come up? Hikaru cannot understand it at all. He understands why Mai does but what does Azula have to do with romance? But maybe this is how other siblings are. Hikaru has never had to worry about how treats Kaoru because they've always been close, much closer than your normal siblings or even twins. Maybe these concerns are how it is.]
I mean, I don't know about siblings? Kaoru and I aren't like other brothers but isn't it normal to fight? I think. [He has no idea and he cannot even pretend to understand how siblings are supposed to act.]
But Azula's not normal herself, either. She seems like the type to bring out the worst in people.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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For Zuko it just feels differently.]
Yeah. You do. [Sincerely he says this and means it, no jokes in that one simple sentence. He wouldn't lie or make fun of him like this.]
Seriously, don't change a thing. Or I don't know, worry about it. Aurora is gonna love the hair. You totally beat out the bears she hung out with.
[Okay, maybe one joke.]
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Gee, I'd hope so... I'd like to think I'm better looking than a—
[ His head snaps back to shoot Hikaru another look suddenly, brows knitting slightly as a thought comes to mind. For once, he's actually beat Hikaru to the punch teasing himself by accident by reading into shit that's not even there. Look at the leaps and bounds of progress(?) Hikaru's made on poor Zuko's humor. Doesn't mean he's good at being funny or anything yet, but. He can. Sort of take a joke. More than before, at least... ]
Wait! Was that a crack about the bear thing!? In Lunatia! You didn't tell her about that, did you—?!
[ sjfjksdjk if anyone would be okay with knowing you turned into a baby bear for a weekend, Zuko, it'd be Aurora, calm down... ]
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[Hikaru is using his powers for good.]
But I think that'd be pretty hard. She doesn't seem like she'd be too bothered about much when it comes to you~
[Okay so Aurora hasn't said anything quite like that but Hikaru is going to fill Zuko with as much confidence as he can. Sometimes that's all you need to just go and do something. Zuko needs to be confident and make the first move. Hikaru is sure that it'll work out.]
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And he's always liked that about Hikaru, too. Hanging out with Hikaru makes him feel like a normal teenager somehow, even though he knows everything... Maybe because they got it all completely out in the open almost right off the bat, it's been a weight lifted that most of it doesn't need to come up again; there are very few surprises left in Zuko's stories that might come up in conversation, unlike with most people. Hikaru'd be more surprised by normal stories about how he'd done mundane, happy, teenage things, more than likely... The edge of a smile traces his lips as he looks back to his friend, leaning against the sink counter a little. ]
...We have a lot of plans of stuff we wanna do together. She wants to teach me how to cook. [ He lets out a little puff of a breath, which totally counts as a laugh for Zuko. ] I hope I don't sabotage myself... We're gonna cook outside. I told her I might burn her house down.
[ Man, that joke can only land so well with Hikaru. Aurora didn't think Zuko was being as literal as he really was, more than likely... ]
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[He's rooting for you, Zuko.]
You know, though, there's some ways to make this really work. This could be romantic. [He's really trying to help here.] Brush your hand against hers here and there when you're doing stuff. See how she reacts.
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[ His eyes dart to the side as he admits that, a faint trace of color rising to his face. ]
She, uh— touches my hands sometimes, and calls me by name a lot.
[ Why "calls me by name a lot" registers as something particularly romantic, who can say, but more than anyone else, she addresses him directly, peppering "Zuko" into their conversations like a spice, and every time she says his name, it makes him catch his breath, and he doesn't know why. No one else addresses him so directly over and over except, like... servants. But that's completely different. He can't explain why he thinks it means she likes him, but ever since their very first meeting when he first gave her his name, it's been the case, and it's confused him. ]
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Are you serious right now? She touches you all the time, says your name a lot, and seems to want to hang out? Zuko, she's into you. She's really into you.
[He knows subtle things go over his friend's head so it's good he's here to help Zuko out because damn.]
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[ He sputters a bit, glancing aside. He knows he's dumb, okay, Hikaru, he doesn't need his nose rubbed in it...! ]
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[Which isn't fair because if it hadn't been for Taichi doing the flash mob then he would have taken a little bit longer.]
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[ Vaguely enough, casting his glance aside with a slight pout. ]
C'mon. As much as I like hanging out in a bathroom with you, let's talk somewhere else.
[ Deflecting with humor. He's learned a new trick! ]
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But as soon as they are sitting down:]
So what is taking you so long?
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It's complicated. I don't wanna talk about it. But— ...yeah, it's complicated.
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[What foreboding words these end up being.]
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...I know that. There's an— issue... that I need to figure out first. But talking about it will just... make it worse. I can't explain. I'm sorry.
[ He glances aside, his thoughts clearly storming inside, but lets out another, softer sigh. ]
But I know you're right.
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Whatever this is apparently.
But it says a lot for their friendship that Hikaru isn't pestering him. Only sighing.]
You know how to make me curious. Damn. But fine. I'll keep trying to butter Aurora up for you. Keep throwing good things about you her way.
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Once, just once— I want something in my life to be simple. Straightforward.
[ Drama queen... He knows full well he does it to himself, is the worst part. ]
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[Which is why easier said than done. ]
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[ He pauses, brow knotting, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling, though his tone of voice thickens, a certain melancholy laced through it. ]
...I know doing the right thing is usually hard.
[ So annoying how cryptic he's being! ]
...And I know I like Aurora. She's a good person. She'd be good for me. I just— hope I'd be good for her, too.
[ At least that much is clear but what's he on about? Always the gravity... ]
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I think you would be. But well, if she likes you too then it's up to her, right? I mean, sometimes I don't think I'm good for Taichi. [Which is a very vulnerable thing for Hikaru to admit.]
But if she likes you then she does and that's that. You just have to try to do right by her because she thinks you're good for her. That's what matters.
i love when they have matching icons lol c;
...Why don't you feel like you're good for Taichi? You guys seem so solid.
seriously they have such similar icons sometimes lol
I just...I hurt people without really meaning to. I've done it to Taichi. I made him believe in the beginning I didn't think I could actually like him or how I walked away when he asked me out. Or when I yelled at him for inviting a friend to spend the night at his place. I never told you about that but it was our first fight. [Hikaru shrugs.] It just always feels like I'm one step away from really hurting him again, I guess.
lol keeping it up
Mmn. I understand. I felt that way with Mai in the end. But... the people who really love you, will forgive you, I think. That's what I've learned. Hurting people without meaning to.
still keeping it going
I don't want Taichi to have to forgive me or feel like he does because he thinks I'm the best he's going to get. [And if you ask Hikaru, Taichi could do better.]
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[ He sighs a little at that. He knows what Hikaru's talking about. He knows it's hard. Mai had to forgive a lot in Zuko in hindsight... and Zuko and Azula have forgiven each other for a lot more. But it's still tense. And growing tenser. ]
I feel like a jerk with Azula sometimes. I know I was with Mai sometimes, too. I wanna be better than this.
[ It's a very honest and transparent admission, though another one of these moments when somehow Azula keeps sneaking her way into conversations about romance and intimacy and all this realm. It makes sense, she's a woman, she's his sister, someone important in his life, they live together, they've got problems... But it's almost becoming a pattern, how she comes up like this. Especially when held against Mai. ]
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I mean, I don't know about siblings? Kaoru and I aren't like other brothers but isn't it normal to fight? I think. [He has no idea and he cannot even pretend to understand how siblings are supposed to act.]
But Azula's not normal herself, either. She seems like the type to bring out the worst in people.
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